Lean Into Your Life!
How do you live your life?
John and I did a movie night a few weeks ago and the main character was sharing some life lessons that his father had taught him. One of the lessons was to lean into life, good or bad.This made me think, what did that mean. I liked that term, and I certainly have never been a lean into life person.
For most of my life I leaned the other way. I didn't participate in anything for fear of making mistakes or looking foolish. I missed so much. Needless to say that was the safe and easy road, but it made me miserable. I am still not the most adventurous women around, I don't downhill ski or jump out of planes. But I am curious about life. And when conflict arises, even though it makes me sick to my stomach, I do my best to find a win-win. So I would say I lean into life both ways. It takes courage, trust in yourself and faith that whatever happens will move you forward to understanding yourself or the situation better.
When I was a young woman I didn't understand that having a disagreement or a misunderstanding with someone could possibly propel the relationship to a higher level. This was not my experience in my family, as disagreements usually ended in a fist fight.
Some times the air needs to be cleared, the energy shifted and with clear communication and a willingness to have a conversation based on mutual respect, it is a opportunity to understand the other person or the situation from a different perspective. Yes, it is rare, as most people want to be right much more than they want to be understood.
Women are communicators, but many of us baby boomers were told growing up if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. Oh and if you need to talk, talk to your girl friends. Hence the passive-aggressive monster enters. So here is an example, I am annoyed at John, but instead of saying anything to him, I call up a girlfriend and we bitch and complain about our partners, bosses, kids...etc. you get the picture. The starts an ugly circle, and gets nowhere. How many times I have been sitting in a restaurant listening to several women talking about their husbands, bosses or colleagues. The people that we share these problems with have their own agenda and issues, and this sharing ritual sometimes ends up with lost friendships or bitter feeling about the person not included in that conversation.
When I decided to stop doing the bitch sessions with girlfriends, I noticed there seemed to be less to talk about. Hmmm, isn't that interesting. Anyways, if you have an issue, talk it to the person you have a problem with. Come from an accountable place (not blaming) example " use the I words, not you did this or that. Lean into it, life is worth it.
Fabulously yours, Dianna