Today we kick off our series of guest blogs from women in our community who have been invited to share a story of something they have learned after 50.
Vicki Ellis made a massive leap of faith as she reinvented herself when moving from England to France. She recently found Fabulous at 50 and realized she had found her sisterhood of like minded women who are finding new ways to live exciting and fullfilling lives. She is a regular contributor with in our Fabulous at 50 Sisterhood Facebook group and often shares acrostic poems that serve as inspiration for all.
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Is Reinvention Really Possible In Your 50s and Beyond?
The simple answer is yes! I really did reinvent my life in my 50s and if I can do it anybody can.
I say that because right from childhood I had an inferiority complex, which led to social anxiety. I was an avid people pleaser and I worked so hard because I never wanted to disappoint anybody. This led to a cycle of resentment and frustration which became my normal for years.
Fast forward to my 40s and I was juggling a stressful teaching job, two young kids and a partner who was depressed. I would have died rather than asking somebody else for help so I soldiered on silently. But when my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and the family knives started to come out, I told a friend that I’d had enough. ‘What would you do if you could?’
I didn’t hesitate in my reply. ‘Move to France.’ It had always been my plan, my possibility, but I’d shelved it several times because of what my family thought. Things happened very quickly after that. I sold my house to a friend, my mum died and suddenly we were in a rented house in South West France. It was a horrible time but also a liberating one, but because I was making conscious choices things happened with a synchronicity I’d never had before. I could grieve because there was possibility in my life. I could see a future, make plans but I could also face up to decades of pent up emotions and release them.
Every day I faced a new challenge from living in a new country but this was my choice. This was empowering and the anxiety started to ease. I could be grateful every day that I’d achieved something that I had dreamed about; and that changed the way I looked at life. I took a deep dive into personal development and studied everything. Years before I had taken NLP coaching courses for my work with teenagers through school, so I was familiar with some emotional clearing techniques. But I began to understand the root of my anxiety.
I realised that I wasn’t in survival mode any more and my creativity came back, my relationships improved and I felt healthier. I started a blog and I invested in myself to fulfil my dream of sharing and teaching other women that it is possible to live life on your terms regardless of age.
Nearly four years on and I feel transformed. The anger has gone and I feel a sense of joy and peace every day because I have developed the skills to deal with the challenges that life inevitably brings. I’m inspired to help other women, despite the times when I feel insecure because I give myself the approval to do me!
We keep ourselves stuck because we refuse to put ourselves first which leads to further disconnection from whom we’re supposed to be. We stay in our comfort zone which is actually anything but comfortable. So if you’re not living the best version of you then I invite you to read the following top tips:-
- Discover your particular brand of stuck.
- Accept yourself and integrate mind, body and spirit to reconnect with your own intuition.
- Celebrate your small wins and every morning begin by channelling your mind in the right direction.
- Learn to let go of everything that doesn’t serve the best version of you and that includes people.
- Find yourself a mantra to remind you of what’s important to you.
My own mantra is: I give myself permission to be me and every day I step into my power to serve.
Submitted by Vicki Ellis (From England and now living in France)