If not now, When?!?
When I started Fabulous@50 in 2008, this was a mantra I came up with. I felt very strongly about women in their 50’s getting their butts in gear and discovering who they were and what they truly wanted. I heard my grandparents and so many other seniors speaking of their regrets, and I wanted to inspire other women to live their lives to the fullest. I am so grateful for Personal Best Seminars (Integrity Seminars) for providing me with the opportunity to personally grow in a safe environment. This was my turning point and an incredible experience.
I shocked myself with the goals I set and accomplished. Even daring to call myself a high achiever. Yikes. My high school teachers would have been shocked. From being the bored and uninspired girl to who I became. I was a late bloomer, but "better late than never".
Last year I celebrated my 60th birthday, with a bike trip in Croatia, with visits to London and Cardiff Wales to visit my grandchildren. Followed by an amazing surprise birthday party at my daughters in Edmonton. I felt so special and loved. Who could ask for more?
But in the fall, I got the rude awakening with a Melanoma diagnosis. And never more than then, did the “IF not now, when?" became more prevalent. What if? What had I not done or achieved that I wanted?
And the answer was nothing. There were no regrets, WOW. I had been living my life as I had been coaching others to do. I learned so much through this diagnosis.
I reached out to many people I admire and respect and through each conversation a little treasure came out.
Here are a few.
• Do only what you love.
• What is your mission in Remission?
• You are the Placebo.
• Follow the bread crumbs.
• Sometimes we need to break to glow.
• I have a diagnosis, I am not the diagnosis.
We often think that it is in the big goals that we achieve the biggest success, but I see it differently. I once was told “To Eat My Kill”. I thought how disgusting, but then I paused and heard the message. I rarely celebrated what I worked so hard for, I just jumped into the next project. It is no wonder, I burnt out so many times and felt unfulfilled even though I accomplished so much.
As a child all I ever wanted was to be loved and safe. Traveling the world, writing a book, starting a business, receiving awards and being recognized as an leader and entrepreneur were not even on my radar. Now don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of all of that. But the successes I am talking about are the real meaningful ones. The relationships I have nurtured, my wonderful husband, my children, my friends and my community. This is where the true success is for me.
If the last year has taught me anything, it is to be true to myself. Don’t spend too much time, doing things we feel we have to, do it because you want to. That could just be a mental shift or a change in direction. Change is good, and sometimes it is when we can’t see the outcome of a decision, that the most amazing things happen.
I did many things over the years to prove something to others, but mostly to myself. I no longer feel the need to do that. I can honestly say that each and every day, I do what makes me happy. That may be cycling, gardening, drawing, painting, hanging out with my peeps, but most of all, I love the time I spend with my best friend, ME. I love who I am, who I have become, and how I treat other people. I no longer feel like I have anything to prove.
I know some of you will say, but you are still so busy. Yes, I keep busy, unless I decide I need a time to rest. I listen…..
This year I learned to play the Ukulele and took a workshop in Emotional Freedom Techniques. I think I missed my calling as a world class Ukulele player.
We now have a lake house that has become a refuge for John and I. Quaint, but full of games, movies, and a short walk to the lake to canoe and float. This is where my heart is. I feel complete JOY when I walk over to the lake that is filled with loons, pelicans, blackbirds, ducks, geese. The big sky above Spring Lake wraps around me and I feel full. I wish this for all of you. To feel Full of Joy everyday. If not now, when?
Have a great summer.
P.S. I would love to hear your wise words. do you have a favorite saying or quote that could share. Please post in FB or in the comments. Thanks everyone. Big hugs