Creating Memories

My daughter and I were having a conversation the other night about different vacations we took as a family. We were reminiscing about a vacation we took to the beautiful Kootenay area. Her memories were very vague, until I reminded her that it was the trip she lost my purse. As a little girl, she was very headstrong and absolutely insisted that she should carry my purse. Not the greatest decision on my part, but it was a vacation and I didn't want there to be any conflict, so I gave in and let her carry it. We had a fabulous time exploring Kaslo and then..... I needed my purse. To my dismay, she had put it down somewhere in the last town we were visiting, and now the happy family was not so happy. This she remembers very clearly, she was sure she was going to be in very big trouble. But, really it was my fault for allowing a 5 year old the responsibility of having my purse with all my ID and money in it, so we calmed her down and got back in the car and drove to the last place we had been visiting. Luckily a very nice local had picked it up and kindly left it in the closest local business, with hopes the owner would come back for it. This was one of my fondest memories of this area, I am very thankful for this person's honesty.

Why did Amber remember this part of the trip and not some of the fun parts? I remembered things like all the hummingbirds and the friendliness of the people in the campsite we stayed in. This is something I was educated about at a Bill Bartman seminar I attended a few years ago. Bill Bartman is a very interesting man who has lived a life of extremes, from street kid to billionaire and has shared his story and knowledge with many people over the years. One of the techniques he taught us was about taking experiences from the past and attaching emotion to it. What he said, was that we will remember the events in our life that we attach strong emotion to. That is why we remember exciting trips, like Disneyland and when something really distressing happens, like an illness or death.

Amber remembered the loss of the purse, because she was scared of what was going to happen to her. I remembered the the experience of the rushing river beside our campground and the hundreds of hummingbirds fighting over the food the campers put out for them.

What is necessary to create these memories is to be in the moment, to really see what is going on around you and embracing it. Amber was definitely in the moment, she was scared silly, poor little thing, I can still reacall those big green eyes filling with tears.

So I guess the moral of the story is that to create wonderful memories we need to truly experience it. Be joyful, express our feeling by laughing, crying and celebrating the special times by being truly in the moment. It is all about choices, what you want to focus on and how you want to format an experience in your memory. Enjoy your summer  and create some awesome family memories. Cheers!

Fabulously yours, Dianna Bowes

Winner of the 2011 YWCA Women of Distinction Award - Turning Point